Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
