new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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