I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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