I just cut my nipple shaving
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
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I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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