i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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