We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
