Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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