Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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