Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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