You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
