the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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