is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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