My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
