Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have already put on my inside pants.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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