I only kidnapped one of them. chill
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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