Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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