Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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