ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
