I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
