There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
