is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
