i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
