Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
