that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
