from now on my penis is your penis
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Drunk is not a location!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
