so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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