Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
