I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
