The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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