im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
