New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
