Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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