Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
