He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize