You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
