I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
