i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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