she was so not down for the gang bang
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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