Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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