i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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