he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
