We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
The air taste purple.
Randomize
