I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
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Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
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Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The adults are the big ones right?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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