; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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