yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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