My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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