Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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