Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
