she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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