My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sober January is a disaster.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
