My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
