She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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