No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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