Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
