Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
We smell like vodka and hangover
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