her vagine was all disorganized.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
