I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize