just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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