do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
