The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.