why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday