I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room