im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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