So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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